my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
