talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
