One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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