Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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