he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
