That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
