Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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