First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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