Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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