wakey wakey hands off snakey
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
