North Korea, Best Korea!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize