I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She's the barista slut.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
