my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
