shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
