During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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