how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
