Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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