In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize