There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize