Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Randomize
