you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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