your thong is hanging out like whoa
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
