I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
