ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
