i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize