i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
