You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
