zippers are such a cool invention
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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