He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
