Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
