Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
