omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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