In the future we'll all be gay
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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