check it out our google latitudes are spooning
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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