I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
