So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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