he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
