here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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