He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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