After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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