I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I have tasted many bathrooms
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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