No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize
