I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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