He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
