I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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