I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
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