Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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