You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
