We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
