Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
