Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I CAN MOONWALK!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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