I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
