you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
