Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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