oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
