I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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