Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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