Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
