We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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