afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
