It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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