Buhtt sex?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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