OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
